Kate Moss - Parisienne - YSL.

How to write a paper

If a teacher has been teaching for 20 years.

And there are 2 semesters in a year
And the teacher assigns 2 papers per semester

How many papers do you think that teacher has read? Possibly over the same subject?

Wouldn't you think its very fucking boring to read about the same thing. Now multiply that times how many students there are in a class. How often do you think students write about the same subject? You must go outside the boundaries of normal.

When writing a paper, avoid cliches, such as; "It was a warm summer day"
It just sounds awkward. Not to mention, you can't think of your own shit to write about.

Well, I'll just demonstrate how, if you can make a teacher actually laugh, You are almost guaranteed an A on your paper. Also, demonstrate knowledge of the subject, and I normally show a teacher I do have a set of balls.

Here is an example of some of my work. Note : I do voice my opinion on quite a few things, read between the lines........................Of course I can't post this in MLA format, then my identity wouldn't be anonymous.

All the information I write about is in an excell spread sheet. I can't post it on a blog

There are 33 students who participated in Dr. Black’s survey.  The youngest person is 19 and the oldest is 42. This gives us the range of the age group, which is 23 years.  The average or the mean is 24.42424 years old, but only because a few of the older people drag the mean up. This will be demonstrated by the age histogram up top.  According to the empirical rule anyone in this population that is over the age of 29.41 is outside the first standard deviation.  Anyone under the age of 19.43 is outside of the first deviation. The mode of the age group is between 20 and 29. Since everyone is 19 or older; we can assume everyone here has completed High school or obtained a GED.  Since the majority of the students are in their 20’s and attending college, we can assume that they aren’t making that much money. This is based off of the assumption that they haven’t obtained their bachelor’s degree, and are working a part-time job.  Perhaps Dr. Black should ask his publishing company to lower the price on Wiley Plus; the majority of his students are in need of financial aid.

This comes to the point of working while going to school. Who’s working and who’s receiving money from their parents trust fund? A curve should be given to those who are working while going to school because the stress of paying for gas, food and insurance while attending college is very high for those who actually support themselves. The maximum hours spent working is 40 and the minimum is of course 0. There are 12 people out of the 33 who do not work.  That is 36.3636363% of the class which is almost half.  That’s just ridiculous, I wish I had rich parents who would pay for my college and everything else needed in order to attend UHCL. Out of the people who do work, the average is 27.9047619 hours worked per week.

There is one poor soul who drives 54 miles to attend class, hopefully they take all their classes in one day and only make 1 drive up here a week. That’s 54 miles here and 54 miles back for a whopping total of 108. The average mile’s driven to class is 16.78 miles; this is because the extreme value of 54, along with the 30’s and up dragging the average higher. The mode is 15, along with the median being the same value.  If we look at the statistics of the time it takes to get to class we have the maximum being 60 minutes and the minimum of 5.  This could mean we have people from all over Houston attending UHCL. Those people who drive for an hour in order to attend college should receive a medal upon graduation.  ¼ of the class is outside the first deviation which leaves ¾ of the class taking between 7.67 minutes and 37.17 minutes.

There are only 4 people who do not attend school full time.  If randomly selected from the population, there is a 12.1212% chance of picking one of them.  There are 14 people who are going above and beyond and taking 15 hours of class.  These people deserve some slack from Dr. Black because they are working extra hard (I’m included in this population) to finish college. There are 14 people only taking enough classes to be considered a full time student. This is probably because one of the following reasons, in order to receive a set amount of financial aid one must attend school full time, or in order to receive health insurance benefits from a guardian, one must attend school full time.  The students taking 15 hours worth of classes are probably doing the same unless they are working at full time jobs.  Only 2 of the 33 are working full time jobs, so it is highly not likely.

I made the claim that the students are poor because looking at the statistics it shows that the average student in Dr.Black’s class only eats out 3.7 times a week.  After finishing college I will never eat a bowl of ramen noodles ever again, along with the majority of the class.  There is a person who eats out 21(max) times a week. That’s just insane and they need to learn how to cook to save money.

There are a quite a few people who do not download music. Either they don’t know how to or they are lying. Assuming they are telling the truth, 18 people do not download music. (18 people are lying).  There are 3 people who pirate at least 100 songs. These are the extreme values that drag up the average but don’t affect the mode or median.  If Dr. Black wanted to turn in one of the students who are downloading over 100 songs by randomly guessing, he has a 3/33 or 1/11 chance of guessing the correct perpetrator.   

There are more women than men in the class. One more to be exact; men aren’t naturally monogamous but it is beaten into us that we should only have 1 partner.  Luckily I can see past that, and perhaps gain 2 female companions since there are more women than men. The odds of that happening are 1/100000000000000 though.  Women will never understand men.

The majority of the class owns a laptop. For college students, it’s probably a good idea to have a portable computer.  24/33 = majority.  That’s actually 72.7272727272% of the class which is huge. It would probably be a good idea for companies that sell laptops to target college students more often. We’ll leave that job up to the marketer to find out, if they don’t know already.

Mexican food seems to be a favorite of the class. 56.25% prefer Mexican food over Italian and Chinese.  Only 18.75 % of the class likes Chinese food.  This leaves 28.125% liking Italian and 0% like Indian food.  56.25% is much higher than 28.125% when talking about food. It’s probably a good idea to serve Mexican food in the UHCL cafeteria.  No one likes indian food, this is probably because no ones ever given Indian food a try.

71.875% of the class prefers regular soda over diet or any other drink.  15.625% students drink diet soft drinks.  This is only 87.5% of the class, which leaves 12.5% of the class leaving the space blank.
If we do a statistic of people who prefer regular soda over diet soda than 82.14285714% prefer soda over diet soda.